in silence.

invisible tears flowing silently.
mind and body numb from the pain.
hand weary, picking up the pieces.
fragile bits turning to dust.

no more thump thump.
no more sound from your heart.

a breathing soul with no heart
a walking doll with no emotions
i wish.

just the way it is.

there are things you cannot control.
there are mistakes you can't undo.
there are things you wish you can control.

there are people you wish will like you.
there are people you want to love you.
there are people you never thought will accept you.

things don't usually happen the way you want it.
they do sometimes but only as a consolation.

things just happen. they just do.
and you can't do anything about it.

Jagged Pieces

What has been broken will never be whole again.
What has been separated will never be one again.

Jagged pieces littering my life.
Invisible wounds and invisible blood.
Jagged pieces cutting the heart.
Bits and pieces scarring the soul.

Wear a smile and hide the pain.
Wear a smile and cover the scar.
Laugh to drown the sound of your cries.

a broken doll.
a dead rose.
shattered hourglass.
all broken. all gone.

i deserve to be happy.

I deserve to be happy and I intend to be. I am battling my way through life trying to overcome the obstacles blocking my way and I try to do it with a smile. I try. I try so hard to smile my way through life. Most of the time, I fail but sometimes I could find reasons to smile even at the darkest points of my life.

Everybody deserves to be happy. I also deserve to be.

battling the storm

I could probably say that I am too weak already; too weak to battle the storms in my life. But do I have the right to give up? Some would probably say yes. But I refuse to give myself the right to give up. I am not giving myself any other choice but to go on and move forward.

This is just a simple storm. Someday, the sun will shine again.

serenity

I wish I could have stayed at Lake Balinsasayao last weekend. The place is so silent that it gives me a peace of mind and almost made me forget of all the worries that I had to face at school.

I love the place though its far.
I love the place though I couldn't get a network signal.
I love the place though I had to walk so far afterwards.
I love the place though my muscles are still sore from all the walking.
I love the place though it doesn't have internet connection.
I love the place though its far from civilization.
I love the place though I am mortally scared of the lake.
I love the place and I wish I could drown my worries there.

Someday, I will go back there.
Someday.

sharing what I learned.

I've had a lot of low moments in my life but those were never been this low. I guess I could say that I am now in the darkest part (so far) of my life. I did a lot of things that I shouldn't have done and did not do a lo of things that I should have done.

Somehow, I can say that I ruined my life and i am trying so hard to fix it. How ironic that I somebody who does not believe in second chances is now hoping to get a glimpse of a second chance.

One thing I learned though, and I wish to share to whoever is reading this blog, is that, we cannot blame life if it becomes complicated because sometimes it is our own actions that complicates life.

We reap what we sow. And that is all there is to it.

seiromem

memories.

tingling laughter. voices from the past

blurry faces. ghosts from yesterday

memories.

faded photographs. wilted flowers.

crumbling papers. messages of love.

promises. made. broken.

memories.

nothing but memories.

No to RED

Insurgency is a sore thumb that hinders the nation's progress. It is a disease that feeds on the strength of the country; a dead weight that slowly pulls and buries the nation in a quicksand. It destroys all potentials, ruin economies and dims hope. Its continued existence is a bane to a country striving to develop.

A revolutionary government is not the answer to corruption and poverty. Bullets and bombs do not offer solutions that would solve the problems of this country. And no true Filipino could survive in a communist government. Filipinos, afterall, values their freedom as much as they value their blood.

Forty years is a long fight. Lives have been wasted, billions have been spent, blood was spilled in an attempt to heal the disease. It needs the collective effort of every single Filipino who trully loves their country to stop the disease from spreading and eventually killing the whole nation.

The war against insurgency is not just the government's war; it is every Filipinos war. The so-called principles of the Communist movement are nothing but lies. Corruption inside the movement is even worst than that in the government. The promises given by the rebels to lowly folks are nothing but propagandas aimed to ruin the image of the government and win the hearts of the people.

They promise a better life for those who support them but only their higher-ups enjoy the profits of their extortion activities. The poor remains poor.

They claim that members of the armed forces are harassing the people but it is them who really do. They are the ones who do not mind if the ordinary folks has nothing more to eat as long as they could get something from them. They are the ones who would get the very last centavo of the lowly hinterland folks in the name of revolution. They are the ones who would get the very last chicken of the poor farmer who has nothing more to give. Them who burns properties, threatens and hurt people if they don't pay the revolutionary tax. It is them that causes this country to suffer.

They see every "atrocity" of the government but they are blind to their own atrocities. They see corruption in the government but they don't speak of corruption in their own ranks.

There can be no real progress while they continue to exist. And unless every Filipino realize that they have a part to play in the war against these vermin, properties will continue to be burned and lives will continue to be wasted.

We don't need to take up arms to fight. In our own ways we can help in the fight against insurgency. Let us help in healing the sore thumb because insurgency is our fight too.

there is such a thing as perfect.

When you start looking at things differently, then you'll also start realizing that the world could be perfect despite its imperfections.

The moment you start seeing the light in every problem and the beauty created by pressure, you'll learn to appreciate the perfectness of this world.

The time you stop looking at your flaws as if it could kill you, its also the time that you'll realize that you are perfect.

Because life is perfect. There is such a thing as perfect.
Our tiny flaws makes us perfect. The tinny tiny bits of imperfection makes us a perfect example of the human race.

There is such a thing as a perfect human being. They are people who makes mistakes but learns from it; knows their flaws and accepts it. The perfect human beings are not those who never commits mistakes, never fails, never stumbles, never falls. They are those who stumbles but stands up and starts again.

It is not the lack of flaws that makes us perfect. It is our imperfection that makes us perfect.

the heart says it all.

You can lie to others but you can never lie to yourself.
You can hide from others but you can never hide from yourself.
The mouth may say something but the heart keeps everything.

just stay there

its nice to know you're there
a shoulder to lean on when I become weary
the hands that lifts me up when I fall down
the arms that carries me when I get tired

its nice to know you're there
a silent shadow behind me
an invisible shield, an invisible strength
unseen but still there

its nice to know you're there
the sunshine in the rain
the light in the dark
the wisdom in the days of folly
the humor in the days of pain

I'm glad to know you'll be there
when all else is gone, when all else has failed
just stay there, don't leave me
you carry my heart, my life in your hands

It's nice to know you're there,
my brother, my friend.

yeah, were different

What makes us different from animals is not our so-called intelligence.
It is our ability to choose, to reason, to decide. Our ability to know the difference between right and wrong.

When you corner an animal, a snake for example, it will strike because it is its nature to do so. Animals strike even when you don't provoke them because it is their instinct to bite or maim. When a person is provoke, you can't expect him to bite or maul the person provoking him. Maybe the person would punch, kick or scratch or maybe he would prefer to walk away and do nothing. Though fighting back is an instinct, it is still a matter of choice.

But what about those people who kills without provocation? What about those who never feel remorse when they kill? Are they human or are they animals?

uncertainties

I do not know what the future holds for me
but it would be good to know that the people I cared for
would be facing that future beside me.
I guess, no matter how the bleak the future would be, it would be tolerable if you know that you have friends and loved ones beside you to boost you up when you're already too weak to move up.

born to die

Death
-man's ultimate destiny.

just a thought

The day you cease to love
is the day you cease to be human.

and I pray,

Lord, if You're ever going to take anything from this world,
Please, let it be asthma.

there's still chance

it won't take a million years
it won't take a billion attempt
it only needs one shot of courage
one shot to take the risk
just one shot.
Only then shall normality begin.

breather

a few minutes of rest.
eyes close. deep breathes.
relaxation.

ahh... just so tired.

In the end...

All I can say is that, THANK YOU for being a part of my life.

=True Friendship knows no distance. It knows no miles, no oceans. So just smile and don't worry, for even if you are not beside us you will always be in our hearts. And when the harsh world threatens you and your tears are about to fall just remember that somewhere across the ocean there are people who will never stop loving you even when the rest of the world turns their back on you. Were just here, waiting for you to come back.=